Deroda's Diary

          Jimi was walking me to my hostel. I enjoy his company. He is good at keeping a lively conversation, sometimes I think he sees right through me. We talk about anything. He has been trying to get me to talk about what was making me withdrawn. Some days, I feel bad for thinking such thoughts and want to stop, only to fall back into it. Jimi was talking but I could not hear him. The mild sorrow I felt, the full moon shining above us and the street lamp that cast a gold glow on the wet and empty street, making the atmosphere serene seemed to have set me thinking. For the first time, I noticed him. How come I never thought about him in that way?                "This night breeze is doing so many things to my head", I muttered. I shook my head to regain composure. Jimi was saying something about idols when I came to.        "Huh"        "Idols", he said again.      ...

Let me see your countenance, Let me hear your voice, Sweet is your voice, Your countenance is comely. -a secret lover                         In my world, I was Ivy the girl he was desperately in love with. We'd hold hands and enjoy each other's company. Some weeks into our relationship, we hugged and kissed. One day, we went  giggity-giggity . Dating Stranger was fun. He was super rich. We travelled a lot. Places I have never been. We tried new foods, played a lot (pillow fight, water fight; all that stuff). We had couple goals, fights, moments. It was my fantasy, everything was possible. Nobody gets hurt. Or so I thought. You use your imagination to get what you don't have. Once I really wanted to go to Italy. I simply looked up pictures of it and voilà my own Italy experience right on my bed. It was almost like the real thing.                   "Abigail, have you ev...

         You are all fair, My crush, There is no flaw in you. -a secret lover             Those stories where the ugly lady gets the handsome guy, yeah those ones, I got tired of reading and watching them too. My story is different. I would not say ugly, I am not. He was a stranger with a pair of glasses that looked really cute on him. We will call him Stranger. Come now, my love was not blind. First, he was short, alright medium, something like that. My dream guy should be tall, but this was the one my eyes picked. Second, he had a funny walk and stammered when he spoke. It was cute to me anyways. The irony. Third, he was not popular (I am not into popularity, but you should be influential and intelligent (he was, but not on the geeky level I find attractive).           I never had a crush until then. It started on a sad Friday. My day had gone really bad. I was scrolling through Instagram for f...