Who am i really?
Rhoda walked beside me slowly. Occasionally, I'd steal a glance at her dimples. I noticed they were deeper when she was not talking. We were still within the church compound. It was very large. One trip round should help you lose all the calories you plan to have. Every now and then Rhoda waved goodbye to someone. We passed some girls taking pictures with funny positions. I chuckled a bit. "That is Lolade, Chichi and Maggi," Rhoda said pointing out the bearers. "Oh," I said.
"Would you like to say hello? I can introduce you," she offered.
"Oh no no. Thank you. I will pass," she was moving towards them already so I put my hands in front of her to stop her movement.
"Wait, you don't like people?" she asked as one of her eye brows shot up and her dimples deepened.
"It is not like that. I-" I fumbled for words to explain myself.
"How is it then? " Rhoda asked.
"I just...well, I enjoy people's company but sometimes, I like to be alone. If I have to meet someone new, I need to be ready. Like I have to..." I trailed off in search of words.
"Don't worry. You don't have to explain, I am messing with you," She said, smiling. Ha, little wonder why I don't like people.
"What course are you studying?" This time she walked a little ahead of me.
"Medicine," I said, following behind her.
"Wow. You must be really intelligent. I am in the faculty of science, too. Microbiology."
"Oh. That's nice." I was tired of talking. I looked everywhere but at her. I thought about making the walk fast. That way, I can lose her on time. So, I increased my pace. I could see the hostel gate already.
"That means we can walk together to school. Would that be okay with you?" Do I have a choice now?
"Sure."
"About the other night, are things okay with you?" She queried, slowing down. She stopped walking at the front of the hostel and turned to face me.
"Yeah. Sure."
"Are you sure?" I nodded positively. "It is not everyday you see someone resting on the corridor wall at midnight, you know. If you ever want to talk..." She let the rest hang in the air.
"Sure. Thank you".
"Alright, take care." She turned to enter the hostel before I could grunt my reply. I took a small walk back to get some items at the supermarket down the road before returning to my room.
My hand was on the door knob and I would have opened it but for the mention of my name. It was Kate's voice. My roommates were talking about me. I recognized Cindy and Esther's voice too, I could not tell who the last person was. "It is only Cindy that is her friend. Honestly, that girl is a sadist," I heard Kate say. The other parties laughed at her words. "Kate! How can you call her a sadist. Do you know the meaning of the word?," It was Cindy. "Doesn't it mean someone that is always sad?," Kate asked laughing. "No," Cindy responded. Esther and the unknown voice burst out laughing again.
"But you understand what I am trying to say. I don't understand that girl at all," Kate continued.
"You are not the only one," Esther chipped in. "Even when she is joking, you can't tell the difference because she is always frowning."
"The funny part is when she gets back and she goes straight to her bed, no greetings at all. It is rare for her to say anything," Kate said.
"People are different. Maybe she is just reserved," the fourth person said.
"Indeed," Kate said, the words laced with sarcasm. "I wonder what they teach in her church. I don't go to church every Sunday like her yet my life is better. At least I am happy."
"You can't blame the church. If I preach that Jesus can give you the joy of Salvation and you don't receive it, is it then my fault?, " the fourth person said.
"Pastor Mrs, maybe you should preach to her," Esther teased the fourth person.
"Me. What do I know?," she responded laughing.
My head rest itself on the door. My eye lids burnt with tears trying to escape. Why am I crying? What does it matter? Mum usually say we should not let people think badly of God because of our lifestyle. Maybe that was why I suddenly felt sad. I have failed God. But it is my life, how is it their business? I fought the tears back and pushed the door open. Kate appeared surprised by my entrance. The room became awkwardly quiet. "Good afternoon," I said to no one in particular. Cindy and the fourth girl responded. The fourth person was sitting on my bed. Perhaps, that was what triggered the discussion. She jumped off the bed like one who mistakingly sat on a pin to sit on Kate's bed. I dropped my groceries on the bed and changed into my towel. A good bath was all I needed.
To be continued.
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