Deroda's Diary

"This is how we’ve come to understand and experience love: Christ sacrificed his life for us. This is why we ought to live sacrificially for our fellow believers, and not just be out for ourselves!" I had to reread this verse over and over. It felt like a silent reproof to all my selfishness. A little I have needs too . A touch of I am not in the right mental space . Sometimes you need a break too.  A brush of laziness . And my assignment seats at a corner waiting for me to look, beyond myself, at the people waiting for God's words through my hands. Sometimes, I want to be left alone. Some days I am lazy. I am not so zealous to pray or fast or wait on God to hear what He wants me to write about.  Some days, life's issues hit me and I feel broken, yet God wants to talk to the people who have yet to see His love. But I want to talk about my struggles, my needs and "Seek first and all will be added" is not soothing at that moment. Ofcourse, He would...

Dear awesome human,         I know. My bad. I stayed away for too long. It has been hard to get back to writing. But I did not forget you. Lately, I have been working on me. This time, I do not bring you a story...instead my musings. Are you sad-mad? You know, these days some bible characters feel closer than before. They are not just figures I was taught, now they feel like real humans. People with flaws and strengths. They are relatable. I keep forgetting to write this. It is funny how everything you could ever go through, someone has been there. Felt the same way. Said the same words. It is amusing. In one of my devotionals, I ended up at Job 7. There, Job seemed mad at God. He was complaining about how God was mindful of man, testing him all the time. And how he wished God would leave him alone, at least for a while to swallow. Then it reminded me of something I wrote in my diary in the past. Lol . I actually told God to leave me alone. Dear dear...