Alítheia

 

"Alítheia, stay in the middle. Michalis, move closer to your mom." He grudgingly moved to where Sophia was pointing. Mom put one arm around him and the other around me. Dad stood next to me wearing my cap. He leaned into me to stay within the frame shot Sophia was directing. 

"How long before the actual picture is taken?" Michalis groaned. He was not one to take pictures. Sophia ignored his comment. 

"Everybody say cheese."

"Cheese!" We repeated. Sophia took a couple of shots. She looked into the camera to check the result while we still maintained our pose waiting for the next instruction. 

"Hold on," Sophia came to adjust my academic gown. She took a step backwards. "Perfect." More shots followed. We did a goofy pose and we were done. 

It was easy getting Sophia to come take my pictures on my matriculation day, though she would have claimed to have a busy schedule if it had been any other member of the family. Although she is my cousin from my mother's part of the family, we could easily pass for siblings. She is like the sister I never had. 

Mom and Dad had decided to stop after having two children. Luckily, Mom had wanted a boy and a girl, she got just that. I tried getting a little sister or brother, but none of my tantrums worked. Michalis was five years older than me. Mom had said I came at a time they were not expecting. She was pregnant for two months before she knew. I was growing quietly in her stomach. She had considered staying at one child, although Dad wanted one more and it was still undergoing a debate. 

Michalis told me Mom had gone on a business trip. When she got back, she had a big argument with Dad. The next day, they made up but it wasn't long before another argument broke up. This time, mom left with some of her things and she had taken him along with her. 

He would ask, "when will we be back home to Dad?" And she would say soon, mummy needs a break.

At the time mom discovered she was pregnant with me, the break had gone on for two months. Michalis recollected the day she came to tell Dad the news. She had woken him up earlier than usual on a weekend, dressed him up. 

"We are going to visit your Dad," she had said when they were standing next to the car. He was not sure whether to be happy or sad. She looked like she had been crying. "You will be having a little sister or brother soon," she said with a little smile before tapping him gently on his shoulder. 

He would tell me later that he had felt a mix of joy and confusion on the ride to visit Dad. He sat in the living room whilst mom and Dad conversed in the dinning room, but he could hear their conversation clearly.

"Are you keeping it?" Dad had asked. Mom had found the question upsetting. She raised her voice saying a lot of things Michalis did not understand. "I am sorry. Please keep it. We can make things work," dad had responded quietly. It was followed by a lot of crying. When the conversation was over, they had returned to Michalis holding hands. In the weeks that followed, she moved back in with Dad. They had signed up for marriage counseling at the new church Dad was attending and they moved past the tumultuous beginning of discovering my presence. Although there were times mom was unhappy, they made things work. 

Michalis said she became happy again after I was born. Although she would, from time to time, comment she wished she had stopped at one but I was a miracle baby. Michalis was in the habit of calling me an unwanted child. Mom would laugh when he said this and she never corrected this. I grew up believing I was not wanted, though mom cared for us the same way. It was hard to understand if her smiles were genuine or if I was a mistake that cost her genuine happiness. Did she really want to stay with Dad? Was she happy now? Did she wish for a different reality? These were questions she had never responded to when I asked. She would smile and tell me not to worry my head. She loved me and that was all that mattered. 

I was back to my room. I would be sharing it with a yet-to-be-identified person. I told Sophia I would be keeping my space. "Freshman year would be very enlightening," Sophia had responded with a sly smile. She would be stopping by my room later. It had been her idea that I applied to Machford University, so we could be close to each other. My head hurt a little from the activities of the day, a little speech and migraine would set in. I pulled the bed cover over my body and went to sleep.

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