Caught in the act eps 4
"Through your faith in the Son you are made righteous", he said. "It was not by any work of ours but by the gift of the Son we have received abundance of grace and the gift of righteousness. You have access to God. The same way by Adam's sin we became slave to sin, so through the obedience of the Son we have been made righteous by default when we believe. Our consciousness of sin made it increase but under grace, we are conscious of our righteousness through the Son which causes an increase of grace...". His voice trailed off as I zoned out for a moment. This is Romans he is discussing, how come I never read Romans?
"Ayo, are you with me?" Brought me back to the present. "I was saying you are dead to sin. The old you that struggles with anger, masturbation, unclean thoughts is crucified with Christ. You are no longer under the dominion of sin because you are under grace, you can choose. You are not sold to sin such that you can't help it. Paul tells us to consider ourselves dead to sin. You have a duty to constantly remind yourself you are a new man”. Huh. "If I am dead to sin and I am a new man, why do I still feel the tendencies to do the things of the old me?". "Ayo, this body is sold to sin. For as long as we remain in this flesh, there will be tendencies but now we have the strength, grace, to resist the urge. Most importantly, the Holy spirit helps mortify this urges. You have to be led by the Spirit as a son of God".
"Walk in the spirit and you wont fall into sin", he continued. "Come now, I do not mean you should resolve in your heart not to be angry or whatever, you will probably get angry again", he laughed. "Instead you focus on the things of the spirit, the gifts the Son has given to you. He has blessed you with all spiritual blessings. Including ability to be perfect. So focus on that, I am holy and blameless. I am dead to sin. I am a new man. The love of God is spread abroad my heart. Regular faith confession like this releases grace into your soul. See yourself as complete in God, delivered. Let's this be the image on your mind. I can assure you that you would be conformed to His image. Take your gaze off this imperfect person, focus on the one given to you as a gift." He stopped talking for a while and hummed to himself a tune I recognized to be amazing grace.
"How do I start over? I feel like I have been out of the way for so long, can I still be reconciled with God?" I said more to myself than to him. He had this look of satisfaction, "the way forward Ayo, is to ask God to forgive you". "I don't think He would" I said sadly. "Why not?" he finally looked serious for once. "I get this voices in my head that I can never be as before. It would be hard to get back to my former self" I said, dejected. I looked up at him, he looked concerned, you'd think I was on my death bed. Does he also think there is no hope for me? "Ayo, let's hold hands and pray". I stretched my hands across his table, he met me midway. I listened to every word he said as he prayed and I felt my eyes opened to another dimension of who God is. A Father. He gave me words of encouragement, assuring me I had access to God. He almost wept when he tried to differentiate the work of the Holy spirit in convicting us of sin through our conscience and that of the enemy in bringing condemnation. He wanted to be sure I got it right.
God never condemns us. Instead we are reminded of where we have fallen short and how we should go to God for grace and repent where need be. But the enemy accuses us of our wrongdoings. He causes us to focus on the sin with a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. He shows God as disgusted at our present state and encourage us to stay away for a while until we can right our wrongs when in fact we cant do that without God. By the time I got out of the office, I did not feel any differently per say but my thoughts were towards the positives. I will start with Romans I assured myself. Sow to the spirit, reap of the spirit, sow to the flesh, reap of the flesh, it is logical. I set the alarm on my phone as I walked back to the hall to search for my parents. I flipped through the book Pastor Emmanuel had given to me, "How you can be led by the Spirit of God" by Kenneth E. Hagin. I saw something about reading more of the word and paying attention to a still voice within. I was pondering about the voice part when I felt a hand touch my right leg.
to be continued.
Check out previous episodes❤
Comments
Post a Comment