Deroda's Diary

(Previously: Alitheia made a mistake with Williams. The thoughts won't let her be. She invites Sophia to tell her what happened) The college was on a short break, but Williams and I maintained contact through chats and calls. It had only been three weeks but it felt like three months already. At home, Michalis ensured he tortured me with his violin rehearsals. Listening to it was satisfying sometimes but other times, the bad notes made it awful. He was part of a prestigious orchestra team, La Tuise. My parents were proud of him when they discovered he'd been selected---only the best got into the group and they get to perform far and wide. Michalis would count the places he had been to off his fingers to spite me. 'You live under the rock,' he would say. I would argue that I could be outgoing just like him, only that I chose not to. He would laugh me to scorn. He had everything going well for him.  He was a straight A student, an outgoing, loved-by-everyone kind of perso...

Previously: Williams had successfully gotten Alitheia to feel guilty about refusing to visit him at his dorm and she had given in to his request.  I tried to get the images out of my head but it won't budge. It followed me to class, to the library, to the cafeteria and to sleep. It became a cycle. How could I have been so stupid? How could I have allowed myself to be used so? I have to get back at him. I have to. I must. You are dirty. Guilty. You let this happen. I had no break from the thoughts. I decided that I had to tell someone. Sophia was happy to come around. She wondered what was bugging her favorite cousin.  Sophia slumped into my bed next to me. I debated whether telling her was a bad idea. It felt like I would choke if I did not let it out somehow. I watched her as she took off her boots.  "How's my baby girl doing?" She asked when she got the second boot off. She lay on her back and turned towards me.  "I don't know," I replied with a low v...

Previously: Raven engaged Olivia in a discussion about the origin of the world, whilst a tired Alitheia listened without enthusiasm. Williams has been extremely touchy lately. Whenever I protested to his hand movements at my lower back, he would say I was too rigid and uptight. Sometimes while we walked, he tried to hold my hands. I was worried he kept trying to cross every boundary I set against him. And this was his mission. He said so himself. He did not want any boundaries between us. We were not in a relationship and I was not prepared for one. I had my ideas of how it should go, when the time was right.  Some days, he tried to get into my head. He made me question my choices and convictions, which he often called weird. Williams had been trying to get me to visit him at his apartment, but I had been avoiding it. He stayed alone and my instincts told me things could go amiss. He had told me to trust him and learn to be free with him. He told me he trusted me too. He was closer...